So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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