why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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