im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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