well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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