1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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