its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
ok first of all what the fuck
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
