One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
