Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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