Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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