So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
