I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
