Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
