Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
