so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
