I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
