So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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