My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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