Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
