is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
