So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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