And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Mom said you looked used
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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