There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
