Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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