U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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