I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize