..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
