we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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