farters have to be the big spoon...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
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