absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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