Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
where am i from again
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
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