seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
