How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
