Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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