My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
