My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
