Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
