THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
