Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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