Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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