How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
