So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I love you. Go after that dick
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
