I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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