90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
