Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
