Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
