eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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