More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
