ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
