Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
