I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
