Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It's rum buckets o'clock
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
