If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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