God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
